How to Make Women Happy

It is not difficult to make a woman happy...
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little for himself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
54. give the authority but never expect her to be responsible
55. give her the last word no matter what the cost to your life and limb

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget: birthdays, anniversaries and arrangements she makes.

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Fix him something to eat.

setuju ker???

sendiri pilih, dipilihkan... hehe

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.

Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.

Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.

Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.

Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.

Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.

Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.

Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.

Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back!

huhu...

Reasons why LIFE without a Girl Friend is cool

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1. You can stare at any Girl.......

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2. You don't have to spend money on her.

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3. You won't get boring result in ur board papers.

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4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.

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5. If u don't have a girlfriend, she can't dump u.

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6. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.

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7. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring.

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8. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u.

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9. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore.

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10. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.

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11. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters. No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop place.

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12. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them.

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13. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of sports.

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14. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u'll sin less.

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15. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.

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16. You wont have to fight over having a 'special' friend with ur folks.

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17. No nonstop nonsense.

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18. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.

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19. No tension.

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20. You can be "urself"

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21. You wont have to hide your telephone bills.....

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JAUH DI MATA.... DEKAT DI HATI

jawapan dia.... perut... hehehe

start 2 jan 2009, aku akan berpindah ke JKN Perak, di Ipoh. Risau jugak ke sana sebab dah lama tinggalkan keje masa kat state dulu.

sedih rasanya nak tinggalkan putrajaya... dah dekat 4 tahun aku kat sini. kekawan pun ramai, terutamanya geng 28 hubhalal jakim. rindu sangat kat korang.

walaupun aku berpindah dari Jakim ke HDC pas tu ke KKM, hati ni mmg still teringat zaman suka duka kita kat Hub Halal JAKIM dulu. yang duka tu selalunya masa ada Ramlah je....

doakan aku berbahagia kat perak nanti. ct akan menyusul kemudian.

apa2 pun, harap kita masih contact sesama kita, jangan putus hubungan silaturahim kita ni..

din, min, eilda, k.biq, ellen, safurat, zila, nana, jo, naim, nasir, shariman, sakinah, ida. dida, asah, nurul, khairun, afaf, ecot, irfah, anuar, norling, asram, masliza, nazihah, k.norzan, us siraj, najibah, fadilah, rosnita,zabidi, allahyarham, us. md nor, allahyarham us azizian, us mek som heheheh..., us lok, ana, che wan, ct khairani, amri, us. hamid.... dll (maaf kalau tak tertulis nama)..... ku pohon maaf, halalkan makan n minum..... jasa korang memang tak berbalas...

untuk geng2 BKKM,
pn. sham, khaidir, pn. NO, linza, hidayah J, hidayah O, ismawan, k. peah, boss sanimah, hidayati, ain, syukor, kamal, shan, shariza, dr. man. che saipol, hanifar, jeff, maria, emmy, mas emmylia dll..... sori banyak2....

semoga kita bertemu lagi nanti....

semoga.... kita jauh di mata dekat di hati....

sekali lagi..
pohon maaf, semoga kita semua berjaya di tahun baru nanti.

regards,
sazly azizuddin
ct fatimah
aniq azizuddin
afiq azizuddin

kena marah

dasyat jugak dengar citer us hamid kena marah dgn gm...
hai... dunia... dunia... bila ngaji pun dah tak boleh... nak jadi apa??
biar org yang tau hukum hakam dan sains je dok kat hub halal... ni bukan nya hub haram...
wahai ustad-ustad... bersolat hajat... mohon petunjuk agar halal tetap halal, tidak menghalalkan yang haram.... dijauhi unsur-unsur syubhah dalam hub halal...

amin

jom bukak pose sekali..

bila gamaknyer geng geng ex jakim nak berbuka pose sekali..
next week dah free... kalau ada sesapa nak blanja makan... cepat cepat ajak laa sekali..
rindu kat korang semua..

semoga kisah ini memberi seribu pengajaran buat kita,,,,, selamat menyambut ramadhan dan mengakhirinya dgn sempurna.... insyaallah....

"Abang ni, pakai tu elok-elok la sikit," kata Safura lembut sambil membetulkan pakaian Johari. Johari tersenyum memandang isterinya. "Cantik isteri abang hari ni," Johari mencubit pipi Safura lembut. "Ayah, ayah, cepat la yah," Acir dan Acah meluru masuk ke bilik kerana dah tak sabar-sabar nak bertolak pulang ke kampung. "Yelah, yelah, ayah dah siap ni." Safura hanya tersenyum melihat suaminya itu melayan karenah anak-anak mereka yang comel dan manja. "Abang, dah lama kita tak balik kampung macam ni ye?" "Iyelah, maklumlah abang ni sibuk dengan urusan perniagaan. Baru kali ni abang ada peluang untuk cuti panjang." Johari berkata kepada isterinya tercinta.

Perjalanan daripada KL ke KB mengambil masa lebih kurang lapan jam. Acir dan Acah dah pun terlelap kat kerusi belakang. Begitu juga dengan isterinya, Safura. "Tak sabar rasanya nak tiba kat kampung," Johari berkata dalam hati. Sedikit demi sedikit Johari menekan minyak keretanya. Semakin lama keretanya semakin laju dan Johari semakin seronok. Johari dah tak sabar untuk segera sampai ke kampungnya. Pedal minyak ditekannya lagi dan Toyota Viosnya mula memecut.

Johari cilok kiri, cilok kanan. Habis semua kenderaan dipotongnya. Bangga betul Johari masa tu. Terlupa dia sekejap pada anak dan isterinya yang sedang tidur. "Eh abang, kenapa bawa laju sangat ni?" tiba-tiba Safura terjaga dari tidurnya. "Tak ada apa la sayang, rileks...cepat sikit kita sampai kampung nanti." "Sabar bang, sabar. Biar lambat tak apa....jangan laju sangat bang, Safura takut." Safura cuba memujuk Johari supaya memperlahankan kenderaannya. "Rileks Safura tak ada apa-apa," Johari terus memotong bas ekspres di depannya tanpa was-was. "Haaa..kan, tengok. Tak ada apa-apa kan?" kata Johari setelah berjaya memotong bas ekspres tadi. "Sudah la tu bang." "Ha... tu ada satu lagi bas ekspres. Safura tengok abang motong dia aaa...." Johari terus masuk gear 3, pedal minyak ditekannya hingga jejak ke lantai. Johari terus membelok ke kanan untuk memotong dan.... di depannya tersergam sebuah lori balak yang besar dan gagah dan.....

BAAANGGG!!! "Johari....bangun Jo," sayup-sayup terdengar suara emaknya. Johari membuka matanya. Dia terlihat emaknya di situ. "Mak, Johari di mana mak? Mana Safura mak? Macam mana dengan Safura mak? Acir, Acah.... mana anak-anak saya mak?" Bertubi-tubi Johari menyoal emaknya. Johari tak dapat menahan kesedihannya lagi. Johari menangis semahu-mahunya di depan emaknya. Emaknya memandang Johari tepat-tepat. "Macamana dengan isteri Johari mak, Safura?" Johari masih terus menangis.

PANGGG!!! Kepala Johari yang botak itu ditampar oleh emaknya dengan tiba-tiba. Johari terdiam. Kenapa emaknya buat dia macam tu? "Banyak la engkau punya isteri! Keja pun pemalas ada hati nak berbini. Tu la, tidur lagi senja-senja macam ni! Dah! Bangun pegi sembahyang!" emaknya terus merungut sambil berlalu keluar.... ...Dan Johari tersengih keseorangan. Rasa macam nak masuk dalam tin biskut! Malu beb!! SekianG

Moral : Pandulah dengan berhati-hati walaupun di dalam mimpi.. Ingatlah orang tersayang...

* Gurauan semata-mata... selamat berpuasa.. selamat hari raya.. maaf zahir batin dari sazly azizuddin

makan-makan

best jugak makan-makan ari ni....

siap min tolong nipu kat si fahmi kata aku ada appoinment ngan prof upm lagik... tq min

kalau tak.. terperap la aku dalam bilik meeting tu...

tp sedih la jugak.. sebab akan berpisah ngan geng hub halal yang best ni...

tak tahu nak express mcm bus express camana.... sat lagi wat muka sedih... kata aku ni tak ikhlas belanje kek... wat muka happy sangat lak pun susah.. sebab aku mmg sedih...huhu..

camana nak cari pengganti

si min... yang rajin isi form ptk aku

din... yang selalu call aku kalau dia kena wat keje..

adik aku eilda yang tiap hari tak jemu wat air...

elen... yang selalu blur...

k.biq.. yang dok jiwa kacau

nurul.. yang tak puas hati ngan ramlah sgt2..

asah.. yang selalu ym benda pelik2..

wan noraida.. yang aku selalu curik gula2 tapi dengan izin..

safura..yang hahahahaha gelak besar....

afaf.. mama yang sopan..

zila.. yang malu konon..

irfah ..yang makan... makan... makan..

nana... mana nana? meeting ek...

yang lain tu termasuk senarai... lain-lain... hahahaha...

sedih... semoga boleh berjumpa lagi....